The following article submitted to the April 17, 1998 issue of The California Tech...
...but the ("Can I write 'bastards' on the web?" "No.") editors didn't print it.

Scottie V's Desperate Plea for Prefrosh Attendance

by Scott "Smooth as Buttah" Van Essen

Hey Prefrosh!!! Everybody knows that Caltech is the last bastion of nerds and weaklings, that Caltech athletics is synonymous with "embarrassing win/loss ratio", and of course, that anyone who regularly celebrates victory must be on the chess team, right?.... right???.... WRONG!!!!!!!!

The Caltech Men's Club Volleyball team has established a 13-1 record (UNDEFEATED at home) proving that there is nothing more dangerous than a geek with a grudge. Opponents from over sixty miles away to our own backyard have learned that some nerds are 6'5", 200 lbs, and built like a rock.

This Saturday at 3pm in Brown Gym, the Beavers play their final home match of the season against Occidental college. Oceans may rise, continents may drift, and John Tesh may go on tour, but nothing advances more inexorably towards its goal than the Caltech Men's Club Volleyball Team as it relentlessly smashes its way towards victory. Come and see what Caltech is REALLY about.

If the game is too intense for you, you can get the scores on the web at http://www.cco.caltech.edu/~vball/VB.home.html

Return to Caltech Men's Volleyball Club Team homepage.