Love is for Life: Pastoral Letter of the Irish Bishops
PART IV Marriage and the Family in Society and in the Church


(21.) THE STATE AND THE FAMILY

(21.1) The Rights of the Family
213. The Holy See 's Charter of the Rights of the Family, published in 1983, declares:
Those who wish to marry and establish a family have the right to expect from society moral, educational, social and economic conditions which enable them to exercise their right to marry in all maturity and responsibility.
The Christian call to Government in our country, both in Northern Ireland and in the Republic of Ireland, is to elaborate, in the legal, economic and social fields, policies which will protect marriage and support the family. Marriage and the family are the foundations of a strong, stable and responsible society.

(21.2) The Irish Constitution and the Family
214 The Constitution of the Republic of Ireland commits the State to the protection of marriage and the family. In Article 41, Bunreacht na h-Éireann declares:
1.1 The State recognises the Family as the natural primary and fundamental unit group of Society, and as a moral institution possessing inalienable and imprescriptible rights, antecedent and superior to all positive law.
1.2 The State, therefore, guarantees to protect the Family and its constitution and authority, as the necessary basis of social order and as indispensable to the welfare of the Nation and the State.
1.3 The State pledges itself to guard with special care the institution of Marriage, on which the Family is founded, and to protect it against attack.
The sincerity of one's commitment to these ideals will be determined by action, by legislative provision, by social policy, by personal practice. Government and people in Northern Ireland have the same duty, for the good of society itself, to witness in word and in deed to the fundamental value of marriage and family life.

(21.3) Public Policies of Support for Marriage
215. It is hard to see how the overall interests of marriage and the family can be properly safeguarded without a unified department or interdepartmental group at government level which would monitor all programmes and policies, existing or proposed, in the light of their impact on marital stability and family welfare, and which would elaborate positive policies for strengthening and supporting marriage and the family and for safeguarding the welfare of children. Society neglects the family at its own peril. The Charter of the Rights of the Family states:
Society, and in a particular manner the State and International Organisations, must protect the family through measures of a political, economic, social and juridical character, which aim at consolidating the unity and stability of the family, so that it can exercise its specific function.
The rights, the fundamental needs, the well-being and the values of the family, even though they are progressively safeguarded in some cases, are often ignored and not rarely undermined by laws, institutions, and socio-economic programmes (Preamble, I and J).

216. Economic and social deprivation creates intolerable difficulties for many families. There is a degree and extent of poverty in Ireland today, both North and South, which is totally unacceptable in a Christian society. There are families in Irish society today, both North and South, whose income does not provide them with sufficient food or clothes or fuel, who suffer from malnutrition and inadequate hygiene, who live in sub-standard accommodation or in decayed and squalid environmental conditions, who do not have proper educational opportunity to equip them for living in modern society. There are many families and social groups whose living conditions are inadequate for elementary human well-being and minimum human dignity. There are many families for whom "ends don't meet". There are levels of inequality which violate justice and which make some citizens feel excluded from and rejected by the society in which they live. This is particularly true of the young employed, especially among the semiskilled or unskilled. There is still unacceptable inequality of educational opportunity. God's "preference for the poor", as revealed in the Bible and in the Gospels, is not sufficiently reflected in our society's attitudes towards the poor and in our public policies. The settled community's attitudes towards the Travelling People are too often a sad reminder of this.

217. Housing policies should be carefully scrutinised in terms of their effect on the family. It is essential that there be adequate housing to give each newly-wed couple their own home. Some housing programmes are based on the concept that a married couple should change house and move elsewhere as more children are born and the family grows in size. This has the great disadvantage that neighbourhood communities are disrupted and extended family ties are broken. These are factors making for further instability. It is important also that there be a "mix" of owner occupied and publicly owned housing in all new developments, so as to reduce the segregation of the social classes. Mortgage repayments are a heavy burden on married couples, and public policy must aim at keeping these at reasonable levels.

218. There is no doubting but that unemployment is one of the greatest social factors damaging family life and contributing to marriage breakdown. The creation of jobs should be the State's social priority at this time. This is the social reform worthy of the name. The State, however, must not be expected alone to solve the unemployment problem. Local community enterprise and parish based job creating programmes must be vigorously promoted.

219. Much of our social and social welfare policy has developed piecemeal; so also has our taxation system . These have now become vast and complicated systems, difficult to understand, difficult to operate, and especially difficult to change. Nevertheless it is time to take a comprehensive look at social and social welfare policy and taxation; with a view particularly to identifying their impact on marriage and the family, which should be a central concern for society. In curious and unintended ways, some social welfare and housing allocation policies and some taxation codes can be abused to the detriment of marriage and the family and to the benefit of marital separation or of cohabitation. Familiaris Consortio says that families themselves must become "protagonists of family politics".
The social role of families is called upon to find expression also in the form of political intervention: families should be the first to take steps to see that the laws and institutions of the State not only do not offend but support and positively defend the rights and duties of the family (no. 44).

220. It is of particular relevance in Ireland, both North and South, at the present time, to note that the Charter of the Rights of the Family also states:
The rights and necessities of the family, and especially the value of family unity, must be taken into consideration in penal legislation and policy, in such a way that a detainee remains in contact with his or her family and that the family is adequately sustained during the period of detention.
In this light, there should be scrutiny of prison regimes which would systematically impose "closed visits " on certain categories of prisoners, that is to say, visits during which no physical contact is allowed between a prisoner and his wife and children. Because of past experience of security risks, however, one has the right to expect cooperation from prisoners in the provision of open visits . There should also be examination of policies regarding the imprisonment of persons in conditions which make visits by spouses or children unnecessarily difficult or prohibitively expensive. There are many long-sentence prisoners in the North whose offences were committed when they were still minors; their situation should be re-examined in this light. Indeed the authorities must pay much more attention than heretofore to the impact on conjugal and family life of the interminable absence from home of long sentence and especially life-sentence prisoners. Prisoners with indeterminate sentences should have their cases reviewed regularly, with a view to having a date fixed for their release.

(21.4) Reform of Family Law
221. Just as the country's social policies should support the family, so also should its system of law. There have been notable advances in family law reform in recent years. Yet there are areas which still need revision. The adversarial procedures of the ordinary legal system are often unsuitable in the personal, intimate and sensitive area of marital and parental relationships. These require a stress on reconciliation and conciliation procedures, rather than on adversarial ones. They require that a counselling element become part of a family judicial system. There would seem to be need for a new kind of Family Court or Tribunal, to which marital and family problems requiring legal intervention would be referred. The Family Court could also provide a reconciliation and counselling service for marriages in trouble. It would furthermore provide a conciliation or mediation service, through which couples who have irrevocably decided to separate might do so with as little recrimination among themselves and as little damage to children as possible, and with just legal and financial arrangements for spouses and children. Judges and others working in the family courts, as well as being specialists in family law, should also be familiar with the special psychological and other aspects of marital tension and breakdown. In jurisdictions permitting divorce, it is found that reconciliation provisions are largely inoperative, to the point of being called "a dead letter". There are much better prospects of success for reconciliation services in a non divorce jurisdiction. Opportunities should be available for attendance at a reconciliation hearing before other court proceedings go forward. All proceedings of the Family Court should be held in camera.

222. Some aspects of the present procedures for resolving the legal problems arising from marital separation are unsatisfactory. Indeed some at least of the present pressures for divorce in the Republic of Ireland come from these deficiencies in existing law. Updated legal instruments are needed whereby the Court can move expeditiously to decide the exact status that is to obtain between husband and wife following their separation, and under which the Court could deal with all issues arising from the separation, including maintenance, property and custody of children, access to children and to the family home, etc. The Family Court should be given competence in these areas.

223. The notion of dependency of domicile for wives should be abolished. At present a married woman's domicile is legally presumed to be the domicile of her husband. This has humiliating, as well as potentially damaging, implications for the wife. If her husband were to become domiciled outside the country, a wife would also be deemed to share his domicile, even though she may never have left the country. This implies a lack of reciprocity between wife and husband, and does not reflect equality of persons in the marriage partnership. The new Code of Canon Law specifies that spouses have a common domicile, but in the case of lawful separation or for some other just reason, each spouse may have his or her own domicile (Can. 104). The law on matrimonial property also needs revision. Under present law, each spouse owns his or her own property separately. The Succession Act 1965 in the Republic of Ireland conferred on either partner important rights in the estate of the other partner in the event of death. But in life a partner has no rights in respect of property owned by the other unless he or she contributed financially to its purchase. This applies even to the family home. It is true that an Act of 1976, the Family Home Protection Act, prohibited the sale, mortgage or other disposition of the home by one spouse without the prior consent of the other. This measure provides important protection in practice, but it leaves the unsatisfactory underlying principle unchanged. It is good that local authority tenancies are now in the joint names of husband and wife. A right of residence should be declared in favour of a spouse who is deserted. The law should move towards the concept of community of property. Increased legal provision for community of property should help to bind the couple together more firmly and to provide a stronger basis for family life. It would also be a clearer recognition in law of the true nature of the marriage partnership.

224. The Holy See's Charter of the Rights of the Family declares:
The institutional value of marriage should be upheld by the public authorities; the situation of non-married couples must not be placed on the same level as marriage duly contracted (Article 1c).
It also declares:
All children, whether born in or out of wedlock, enjoy the same right to social protection, with a view to their integral personal development (Article 4e).
Law should not give equal status to marriage and cohabitation, but should give unambiguous legal and social support to marriage. In general, all legal and social provision for children and all child care services need to be brought into a more unified and coherent system. Children are not objects of law, but should be treated as subjects of rights. Children do not choose to be born out of wedlock. Children so born should not be stigmatised because of the circumstances of their birth. They need legal protection of their rights. The legal reforms which will take account of the rights of illegitimate children must not undermine the principle that monogamous and indissoluble marriage is the legal basis of the family.

225. In the Republic of Ireland, the law relating to maintenance of spouses and children was amended in 1976. The new Act represented very important progress as compared with previous legislation. It provided that orders for maintenance can be made even when the spouses are living together. A wife thus has redress against a husband who fails to provide adequate money for household expenses and for children. The Act provided also for attachment of earnings for enforcing maintenance orders. There is room for further improvements in the law. The present statutory machinery for the attachment of earnings should be supplemented by more effective, humane procedures to enforce maintenance orders, where a spouse who fails to support the family has assets and income other than wages or salary.

(21.5) Averting Marital Breakdown
226. We outlined in Part III some of the main factors contributing to marital breakdown. The broad range of measures, social, economic and legal, which we have outlined in the previous paragraphs, are needed both to support marriage and the family and to meet the new challenges facing marriage and the family today. We noted previously that marriage breakdown has increased over recent years in Ireland and is now a serious national problem. This is not a cause for panic: the incidence of breakdown in Irish marriages is still much less than it is in other countries. It can scarcely be denied that the absence of divorce has been an important element in fostering stability in marriage in the Republic of Ireland. The availability of divorce can create a feeling that something positive has been done about the problems of marriage breakdown. It can lessen the impetus and the sense of urgency for positive measures to support marriage and the family, and for genuinely preventive interventions to avert marriage breakdown. But saying no to divorce also imposes on society a greater obligation to provide these measures. The community's general understanding of marriage as a lifelong institution provides a strong basis for positive public policies of support for marriage both in the Republic and in Northern Ireland.

227. Marital breakdown in many countries has become a massive social and national problem. The increase in marital breakdown in England has been described as "alarming" and as a "national disaster". Even the financial cost to the State can give some indication of the scale of the problem. Between 1971 and 1976 the number of one-parent families in Britain rose from 570,000 to 750,000, an increase of 32 per cent. A recognised authority on population trends, Richard Leete, has no hesitation in saying that this increase was "due largely to the big increase in the number of divorced lone mothers". The rapid increase in one-parent families during these five years can scarcely be unconnected with the introduction in 1971 of divorce based on "irretrievable breakdown". We have already pointed to the sharp increase in divorce statistics during those same years. In Britain, there are now well over 800,000 one-parent families, with 1,500,000 dependent children. The cost to the Exchequer of benefit for these families in 1983 was considerably more than £500,000,000. Certainly by no means all of these are the result of divorce, yet a significant number of them are. The great majority of children in care come from broken homes. These children are now costing the British Exchequer more than £180,000,000. A directly divorce derived burden on the State is free legal aid for persons seeking divorce. Since 1977, legal aid is no longer made available for undefended divorce cases, in which, of course, legal representation is no longer necessary. Still, however, two-thirds of all civil legal aid certificates go towards matrimonial proceedings. In 1979/80, the cost of civil legal aid in Britain was nearly £50 million . Dr. Jack Dominian estimated in 1981 that marriage breakdown, directly or indirectly, was costing Britain something "of the order of one billion pounds" per annum.

228. The financial cost of marital breakdown is, of course, far outweighed by its human cost. A great body of professional literature testifies to the fact that marital breakdown is a causal factor in a wide range of personality problems and social ills. It is indeed becoming one of the major sources of social and individual psycho-pathology in modern society. Positive policies for averting marital breakdown are among the most urgent needs facing our society. Marriage and the family are truly the bedrock of our civilisation. They are a school of deeper humanity, where society's values and standards are fostered and transmitted across the generations. It is here that faith and love and hope, human as well as divine, are learned, shared and communicated. Government must be constantly reminded by the electorate of its responsibilities towards marriage and the family. New legislation and new social policies and measures of taxation reform should be carefully scrutinised in the light of their impact on marriage and the family.

(21.6) Preparation for Marriage
229. It is paradoxical that marriage is one of the easiest contracts to enter into, though one of the most serious in terms of its consequences and responsibilities for the whole lifetime of the partners. International statistics show that marriages contracted under the age of 18 have a higher risk of breakdown. It would seem therefore, that the minimum legal age for marriage should not be less than 18. It would be useful to have a legal requirement for adequate prior notice of intended marriage.

230. There is urgent need for more systematic provision of preparation for marriage, both in terms of general education in human and sexual relationships, and in terms of direct pre-marriage preparation. "Sex education" is often understood in a narrow sense which sees sexuality as a merely physical phenomenon, which could be adequately taught in biology classes, in isolation from its true context in loving human relationships. "Sex education" classes in other countries have sometimes presented sex in a clinical and so-called "value-free" manner. Such a presentation lessens reverence for sexuality and could even encourage sexual experimentation by children. Sometimes indeed "sex education" programmes have been strongly weighted towards instruction about various forms of contraception. This is perceived by children as an invitation to engage in sexual intercourse. Sexuality must not be isolated from its emotional, moral, spiritual and religious dimensions. Education of children in human sexuality and in relationships is primarily the right and duty of parents. It is imparted, not only in formal instruction or discussion between parents and children, but, even more importantly, through the influence on children of the relationships between the parents themselves . The atmosphere of love and forgiveness which pervades a marriage and which prevails between parents and children is the best preparation which children can receive for their own future marriage and parenting. More formal education in male/female relationships is however also necessary. Ideally, parents should provide this themselves. Sometimes however they feel inadequate to do so or are deterred from doing so by a false sense of modesty.

231. Parents must, therefore, be helped by schools in providing the necessary instruction. It is not sufficiently appreciated that excellent programmes of education in relationships already exist in the majority of Catholic schools. Catholic school heads and teachers deserve public recognition and gratitude for the excellent work they do in this domain. The need is not for the State to introduce programmes as if none existed, but for the State to support and facilitate what is already being done. The need is for cooperation between State, school and parents. Education in relationships is one of the most important of the tasks of the school in preparing young people for life. It must be given an important place in all school curricula. There are some indications that education for relationships for boys is not as well catered for as it is for girls. Instruction should be provided at different ages, in a manner corresponding to the psychological and physical development of the child. No young person should leave school without proper preparation for integrating his or her sexuality with Christian faith and morality, with love, with respect for others and a sense of responsibility for others' welfare. The effectiveness of school programmes will, however, be greatly diminished if parents are not also involved.

232. Education will not by itself ensure right behaviour. It is a fallacy to assume that knowledge will eliminate wrong sexual behaviour. Society educates even more than schools do; and what society teaches may be very much in conflict with what schools teach. There is a "hidden curriculum" provided for young people by the attitudes and behaviour of adults, by the media, by advertising, by commercial and social pressures, and by peer-group influences. The responsibility of preparing young people for marriage and family life is shared by the whole of society. Schools should not be expected to discharge society's responsibilities for it, or to solve problems which society creates.


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