Love is for Life: Pastoral Letter of the Irish Bishops
PART III Marriage: Its Graces and Its Stresses
(18.) INCIDENCE OF MARITAL BREAKDOWN IN IRELAND
165. For one or other of such reasons as those suggested above, a growing
number of marriages are breaking down in Ireland today. The breakdown is
sometimes translated into legal or de facto separation and desertion
of spouse, whether or not it is followed by cohabitation with another partner.
It is evident that there has been a notable increase in single-parent families,
due either to extramarital pregnancy or to marital breakdown. The great
majority of single-parent families are headed by mothers left alone to care
for children.
166. Estimates of the extent of marriage breakdown in Ireland are difficult
to verify. There are no accurate statistics, and estimates have to be very
conjectural. Some of the figures which are being bandied about are exaggerated
for polemical purposes. Nevertheless, many indicators leave no doubt but
that breakdown in Irish Catholic marriages, both North and South, is considerable
and would seem to be increasing. The Republic's census returns should make
provision for fuller information about marital status, for we cannot as
a society properly face up to the problem of marriage breakdown until we
have accurate information about its extent. We deceive ourselves if we try
to minimise the extent of the problem and its growing seriousness. Unless
the factors making for tension in marriage are carefully studied and stronger
support given to marriage, by the State as well as by the Church, the extent
of marital breakdown will certainly not decrease.
167. It is, however, false to assume that all or even most of the partners
involved in broken marriages either desire divorce or would approve of its
introduction. Many deserted spouses are themselves determined to remain
faithful to their marriage vows and are totally opposed to divorce. Many
are still ready to forgive the erring partner and continue to hope for reconciliation.
Contrary to what is often claimed statistics of broken marriages cannot
be identified with statistics of demand for divorce. We express our admiration
and our gratitude to the many deserted spouses who have remained faithful
to their marriage vows even when their love has been betrayed and they are
deserted by their partners. They give shining witness by their lives to
the sanctity of the marriage bond.
168. On the other hand, many separated spouses have entered into another
relationship which they would wish to have regularised. Many who have separated
have had a long experience of unhappiness and suffering or even cruelty
in their marriage, and had come eventually to the point when they could
not endure any more. It is compassion for hard cases which leads considerable
numbers of people to feel that divorce is the only solution and is a right
solution in these hard cases. The question of divorce must, therefore, be
examined. The examination must take account of both religious convictions
and social considerations .
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